Yes, My Daughter Barks

When my oldest child was around two years old, she developed an obsession with dogs. Not a fascination, mind you, an obsession. She carried stuffed dogs everywhere she went, often crawled around on all fours and would play with any dog allowed. Frequently, I would glance in the review mirror while driving to catch her with her head leaned towards an open window, tongue out wagging. For a long time, she would only watch movies featuring dogs. Fox and the Hound, 101 Dalmatians, and Lady and the Tramp were the big three. Her favorite television show was Clifford the Big Red Dog. She would watch that enormous cherry colored canine and his lovable sidekicks with so much wonder in her eyes. It occurs to me now that she was not relating to Emily Elizabeth, the young human owner of Clifford. No, her connection was with Clifford the Big Red Dog himself. And it wasn’t long before she started barking.

My Public Nuisance

On one seemingly uneventful trip to Target with my infant son and my pup passionate three-year-old, I found myself in a restroom. While I was changing her brother’s diaper, she started. “Arf, arf, arf!” Surprisingly, she had developed her bark into something that really did resemble a small yipping dog. I quickly hushed her and she stopped.

Now, it is extremely difficult for mamas to use a restroom when out in public with young children in tow, so I took the opportunity. My young son was not at all on board with the idea and started wailing beneath the strap on the changing table. My daughter chose this moment to begin barking again. “Arf, arf, arf!” She even threw in an occasional howl, “Ah-wooooo, ah-ah-ah-wooooo!”.  

So, there I was, pants around my ankles, squatting over a less than sparkling toilet with one kid wailing and one barking. It was at that moment that I realized we were not in the restroom near the front entrance of the store. You know the one, just to the right or left as you walk through the front doors. The one tucked away from the merchandise and shoppers. Nope, we were in the bathroom next to the pharmacy. I remembered walking through a small crowd of people lingering in the area waiting for the pharmacy team to call them up. We were just a few feet from that crowd with only a thin door between us. I wanted to cry realizing we had to leave this bathroom eventually. Maybe I could wait it out. The line had to die down at some point. No, confining two young kids to a small area never works out well.

I decided we were leaving that restroom immediately. I had two choices. Walk out quickly, head down with embarrassment, or walk out, chin up, maybe give a little bow. I had decided. I pulled up my britches, washed my hands, grabbed my babies and out the door we went, my chin high. Giggles, smiles and eyes filled with amusement greeted us as we worked our way through the crowd. I hurried along with my fussy baby and howling hound while doing my best to calm the flush of humiliation across my face.  

Once Bitten, Never Shy

I thought her obsession might subside after one precarious encounter with a relative’s dog. One afternoon, I received a call at work that she had been bitten by a dog while spending the day with relatives. I rushed to their home to find out not only had my daughter been bitten, but her whole face had been inside the dog’s jaws. Teeth marks were visible across her forehead and nose. And, as I was told, she had done absolutely nothing to provoke the attack. 

When we drove home that evening, I worried about her reaction to our dog. I didn’t want to scare her further. As soon as she got out of the car, our dog, a friendly yellow lab, came bounding at her. I held my breath for a moment and moved quickly towards the dog. My daughter squealed with delight to see her faithful pup and reached out her arms to pull the dog to her. She never even flinched when the dog began to lick her cheek.

Solving a Perceived Problem

My daughter’s obsession with dogs wasn’t just a brief phase. It lasted years. And what did we do about it? We followed these simple steps:

Step one: Do nothing.

Step two: Continue to do nothing.

I know what you’re thinking. It can’t be that easy. But it was. Aside from buying her a few stuffed dogs and allowing her to dress up as a puppy once for Halloween, we did nothing to encourage her obsession. I didn’t call her Fido or Buddy. I didn’t allow her to eat on the floor. I didn’t scratch her ears or rub her belly. And I certainly did not permit her to communicate through barking. On the other hand, I also did little to discourage it. I didn’t tell her to leave the stuffed dogs at home or to put her tongue away and roll up the window. And, when she wanted a puppy themed birthday party, I bought the biggest puppy shaped piñata I could find. 

Although my daughter’s canine craze lasted for several years, she eventually grew out of it and moved on to other interests. It did influence her future somewhat. She still loves dogs and even spent several years volunteering at a dog shelter. It has remained a part of her personality, but it did not define her future.

Let Them Be Little

For too many parents, behavior deemed odd is becoming a cause for concern much too quickly. The internet is flooded with parents wanting to know if their child’s behavior is “normal”. If it is considered abnormal they become desperate to know how to address it. The frequency with which parents try to interpret their kids’ behavior is becoming greater and greater, and the age at which they do it is becoming younger and younger.

The truth though is, we are not meant to understand every little thing our children do. Our grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ generations did not evaluate their children’s behaviors with the analysis parents use today. 

All children go through weird phases, and they are going to do a lot of things we do not understand. All too often, that behavior will be on full display in public. Occasionally, they are going to embarrass you. Just bide your time. Your turn will come. I guarantee the moms shouting affectionate words from the car in the school drop-off line and on the sidelines of youth sports have felt the sting of embarrassment at the hands of their child.  

So, unless your children are fascinated by something that is physically harmful, just let them be. Let their imaginations run any direction they choose. I assure you, they do not need a tour guide. Just sit back and try to enjoy the show. These odd behaviors are going to make the best stories someday.

Alright, we’re all in this together, so please comment and tell me the oddest phase you experienced with your child.